R.I.P. Pushing Daisies

Last Saturday was the series finale of Pushing Daisies here in America. Originally there would have been two more episodes, but ABC (those bitches) cut it prematurely, so they re-filmed the last 5 or so minutes to close loose ends. To mourn the loss of the best show on broadcast television, not only can you buy the compete series as soon as it comes out, you can also read these quotes I've compiled.

Emerson: Well, that idea just made a stupid idea feel better about itself.

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Olive (to Randy): Sorry if I was sending you mixed messages. But, you know, messages are like nuts. Who wants all the same kind? Mixed is the best. (nervous laughter)

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Narrator: The pie-maker helped his friends in need. Not by pretending he was something he was not, but by embracing the very thing he always was. It gave him a feeling of joy he would later liken to leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

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[Ned and Emerson standing in front of Sister LaRue's body]
Ned: I'm not sure how I feel about doing this... here... with her [Indicating the Statue of Mary]... and him. [Indicating Jesus on the crucifix]
Emerson: Well it ain't like he ain't never done it before; remember Lazarus?

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Emerson: The truth ain't like puppies, a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite. One truth and it has come knocking.

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Ned: Is this a bad idea? Olive as a client? It's a little bit too close for comfort.

Emerson: Oh, hang on a second. Let me ask the money. [holds hand up to ear like a telephone]

Hey, money, it's me, Emerson.

I'm good, I'm good. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Say, can I still pay my bills and buy stuff with you, even though you was Olive's money first? Uh huh.

Ned: Wait.

Emerson: [still talking, laughs.] Yeah. OK, then. Thanks! [puts hand down] The money don't care. Touch him.

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Chuck: What? You love secrets; you want to marry secrets and have little half-secret, half-human babies.

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Emerson: I'm not God, but if I was, I'd be an angry God.

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Olive: Get out. This is a pie shop, not an herbal crack den.

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[Olive talking to Digby (the dog), Digby licking Olive's hand]

Narrator: As Olive considered how much she loved Digby for paying attention to her when the pie-maker would not, Digby considered how much he loved salt.

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Emerson: Sounds like you're narcoleptic.

Ned: I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep?

Emerson: What's the other one?

Ned: Necrophiliac.

Emerson: Words that sound alike get mixed up inside my head.

Olive: Me too. I used to think that masturbation meant chewing your food. [Pause, everyone stares] I don't think that anymore.

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Narrator: Exactly one mile to the west, Emerson Cod was also not thrilled. During times of stress or anxiety, he liked to knit. Since the arrival of the dead girl who was not dead, he found the stockinette stitch relaxing.

[later]

Chuck: Is he [Emerson] upset you brought your childhood sweetheart back to life?

Ned: He barely knows you're here.

Narrator: But in fact, Emerson had already finished knitting a sweater vest and two handgun cozies in the week since Chuck's return.

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Ned: "Maurice" and "Rolston"?

Chuck: You didn't even know their names?

Ned: You know, I'm glad Dad got so fun and creative with naming after he left us. "Goodbye, Ned. Hello, Mercutio and Ribald."

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Narrator: The firm of Cod & Cod dedicated itself to the pursuit of truth at all costs... a pursuit the young Emerson found "badass."

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Olive: [when checking into nunnery and told to sacrifice her belongings to the church] But I like my belongings. That's why they belong to me.

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Vivian: It was her father's. I'm sure it's teeming with fungus and microscopic bugs that feed on flakes of human skin, but she was fond of it.

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Olive: These nuns aren't my people. Unless you're telling me "flibbertigibbet" is a title of respect.

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Olive: I am a sawed-off shotgun full of secrets.

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Olive: Look carefully, ladies, this is your future.

Lily: Is it vodka?

Olive: Water.

Lily: As in Russian for vodka?

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Vivian: Lily doesn't believe in water anymore. She thinks it's a waste of a perfectly good tumber.

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Every once in awhile I'll pull out the old Pushing Daisies quote book and we can reminisce through this underread blog. Care to join me?

#1 Best Show On Broadcast Television Right Now- Pushing Daisies

Probably, you didn't expect this at #1. But it is. Smartly described as a "forensic fairy tale" by its maker, Brian Fuller. That's a perfect label for this whimsical masterpiece, which combines the best aspects of CSI (the mystery), Wonderfalls (the whimsicality), and... uniqueness, without maintaining the bad elements of them, like CSI's taking itself too seriously and adding needless gore, and uniqueness's sometimes unintentional idiocracy, and Wonderfall's... well, there was nothing wrong with Wonderfalls. Just as there is nothing wrong with Pushing Daisies.

But all good things come to a violent end prematurely, and moreso with TV. ABC axed their perfect show because Nielsen's outdated rating system didn't favour it, and its buildup was messed with by the writers' strike. Bullcrap. This is the best show on TV since Seinfeld. The reason I can still say it's current is because there are still 3 episodes left, jammed between ratings seasons at terrible timeslots. (starting Saturday, 30 May! Hooray in a way, but also not hooray because after this all I'll have left is the collector's box set that I'll buy the day it comes out.) We're not sure yet, but it will either be replaced by a puke-inducing primetime soap opera à la Grey's Anatomy, or two puke-inducing comedies à la 2½ Men or How I Met Your Mother. Gross! This is such a good show, it will be a shame to find out what they put in its timeslot. They have Rescued Scrubs there now, which is nowhere near the originality of how it used to be because of ABC's famed stinginess and terribleness. (Is that a word?) But it won't last long. Probably half the fans think it's cancelled forever because it left NBC, and 8.00/20.00 Wednesday is a death slot.

But anyway. Pushing Daisies is a comedy-drama-romance-mystery-fantasy-other things-hybrid about Ned (Lee Pace), a skilled piemaker who has the ability to make dead things come alive by touching them. But this amazing (or terrible?) ability comes with caveats: the things he makes alive must die again within a minute, which he can do by touching them, otherwise something of equal cosmic significance (in humans' case, other people) will die in their place. (This is why he makes such good pies-- he can revive dead fruit to perfect ripeness; the fruit is replaced by flowers, cosmically.) Sounds serious, but really, it's a fun show. He finds this out when he is 12ish and his mother has a stroke and dies on the floor, and he revives her, and as a consequence, the girl next door (Anna Friel, character name Charlotte "Chuck," who he has a crush on)'s father drops dead spontaneously. But his mother dies again when they kiss goodnight. He also revives his dog. 20ish years later, his dog is still alive, and he finds out that the girl next door has been killed on a cruise ship. So he revives her, and they fall in love again, and the funeral director dies. The caveat interferes; they can never touch again. So, they both work at their restaurant, ThePie Hole, along with Olive (Kristin Chenoweth), who is chatty, happy, and hopelessly in love with Ned. Together with private investigator Emerson Cod (brilliantly played by Chi McBride), they solve mysteries on the side by reviving the victims and asking them who killed them, and splitting the reward money. Also featured are Chuck's introverted, polar-opposite, personality-disordered aunts Vivian (Ellen Greene, who plays a brilliantly innocent part, like an older version of her part in Little Shop of Horrors) and Lily (Swoosie Kurtz), who think that she is still dead. They receive mail-order pies from the Pie Hole, where Chuck bakes in antidepressants for them, as they have depression but don't take their pills. This season, we found out that Lily was actually Chuck's mother, and Vivian doesn't know this. Also, the perfectly dry narrator Jim Dale adds something to the show.

In a quip, watch it. Before it's gone forever.

UPDATE: (17 June 2009) At time of now, when you are currently reading this im jetzt, it is gone forever unless you catch reruns or the DVD release.

#2 Best Shows on Broadcast Television Right Now- 30 Rock

America's NBC's 2nd entry on this list... I'm confused as to why NBC has the lowest ratings.  They have two excellent shows (Office, 30 Rock), several good shows (SNL, Earl, Heroes, Medium, ER (not anymore), Chuck) and two unproven, improving, but promising new ones (Parks and Recreation, Southland).  Only the Thursday ones make my weekly viewing list (not much does, I don't watch much TV but I sample the new shows and stuff), as opposed to the utter bullcrap of such ratings-grabbers as 2½ Men and The Big Bang Theory.  But away from the the-masses-are-stupid spiel, and onto the matter at hand.

30 Rock is one of the few shows left on TV that is intelligent, funny, creative, unique, and genuinely fun to watch, basically all the qualities you look for in a friend on the first day at a new school.  (A little cliché, I didn't try too hard.  I love typing é.  I don't know why.  É é é é twahahahaha.  I could type whatever I want here, I just type things that people might be interested in reading because I feel like it.)  In fact, TV never really was the forefront of intelligent humour.  But this show is literally a masterpiece.  All five main actors are great, and perfectly casted.  The scripts are the work of people who could be writing [good] movies and books.  Tina Fey is a comic genius.  This is a perfect part for Alec Baldwin.  This is a perfect part for Tracy Morgan.  This is a perfect part for newer faces Jane Krakowski and Jack McBrayer.  Well, Krakowski isn't completely new; she was in Ally McBeal and apparently played Cousin Vicky in Vacation and appeared in some Flintstones movie and Fatal Attraction.  Again, re-near distraction!

30 Rock is about Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), the head writer and director of a late-night comedy variety sketch show (I wonder where she got that idea...) and the colourful cast of characters around her, in 30 Rockerfeller Plaza, including fickle attention-seeking starlet Jenna Moroney (Krakowski), troubled Tracy (basically himself) whose unpredictability is one of the funnier aspects of the show, callous corporate bigwig Jack Donaghy (Baldwin), and naïve Southern NBC Page Kenneth (McBrayer).  Also included are childish Frank (Judah Friedlander), Liz's absentminded and laid-back assistant Cerie (Katrina Bowden), proud African-American intellectual-type Toofer (Keith Powell), Tracy's entourage Grizz and Dot-Com (Grizz Chapman, Kevin Brown), immature semi-star Josh Girard (Lonny Ross), and Jack's creepily devoted assistant Johnathan (Maulik Pancholy).  Can you say character-based?  You just have to watch it.

#3 Best Shows On Broadcast Television Now- The Office (US)

The British version was an absolute masterpiece. While notas good, the American version has a distinct, hilarious, yet unique look at everyday mundanities. The British version is no longer with us, being prematurely cut, but its illegitimate American son is. The talented Steve Carell plays his most memorable role here, barring any future efforts, as socially inept dumbass Michael Scott, who is somehow marginally likable and effective. He is unquestionably the star, followed in importance by Pam Beesly, Dwight Schrute, and Jim Halpert. Jim is the wry everyman, and Pam is a less wry everywoman (never seen that word before but whatever. Affirmative action). They are the obvious love interests. Rainn Wilson's Dwight is the eccentric Pennsylvania Dutch paper salesman who moonlights as a beet farmer with his odd cousin. They interact perfectly with Michael and each other. The casting really couldn't be better. I suspect all of them will go on to better things after the Office is closed for business (hopefully much better than Wilson's sickeningly terrible The Drummer or whatever it was called. Carell's performances in Anchorman andDan in Real Life were also pretty good, but this is what he will be remembered for.). Other characters include gay Mexican Oscar Núñez, cat-loving conservative Christian semi-whore Angela, fat-dumb-and-happy Kevin (the accountants), old soul who is actually Michael's age Phyllis, begrudging drone Stanley, chatty teen-stuck-in-adult-body Kelly, ex-Grass Roots guitarist and old pothead Creed Bratton (actually him!), alcoholic single mom Meredith, obsessive-compulsive passive-agressive Jan (with a fittingly hyphenated surname), dorky anger-management case Andy Bernard, drab HR rep Toby, and many many more. This is probably the best or second-best sitcom left on TV. Thankfully, the other one is right after it...

NOTE: I was stupid and forgot his hilarious role in Little Miss Sunshine, the best comedy of the last 10 years besides Juno, and probably Fargo if you want to cound that as a comedy. But was that the last 10 years? Ahhhh, let's not worry about it.

#4 Best Albums of 1979- Damn the Torpedoes

Coming in at number four is this generation's favourite roots-rock dinosaur hero.  (Sorry, Bruce.)  Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' best album, and one of the best roots-rock albums ever, Tom and friends combine the best elements of the Byrds, Springsteen, Rolling Stones, Beatles, and the Who.  The best song here is obviously the breakthough Refugee, but there isn't a terrible song here.  A couple moments are a little behind pace, but this is an excellent album which is one of the best and most important of the decade which it helped close. -Ian, 5/5

#5 Best Albums of 1979- Slow Train Coming by Bob Dylan

This is beginning to show a bit of an obsession, but no, there's more albums on this list that aren't Dylan, of course.  Coming in at #5 is the aforementioned Bobster with his first Christian release.  It received mixed reviews upon release, probably more because of its lyrical content than its musical content.  The main highlight is the soulful "Gotta Serve Somebody,"and of course the also-soulful title track.  Dylan had been eclectic before, but this was a first.  There were two Christian albums after this, but this one was easily the best.  The excellent album art also begs questions as to its meaning.  Open for interpretation, and first-rate music... -Ian

#1 Best Bob Dylan Albums- Highway 61 Revisited

The announcement all two of you are waiting for!  Yipee...

The best of all of his albums, 1965's Highway 61 Revisited is easily one of the best albums ever.  Every song is a highlight.  The best ones are: Like a Rolling Stone, Desolation Row, Ballad of a Thin Man, Queen Jane, Tom Thumb's Blues... in that order, etc.  I don't have time for this now... more later

#2 Best Bob Dylan Albums- Blood on the Tracks

This is it.  The happy couple on the cover of The Freewheelin' are getting divorced.

There are several deliciously skewed accounts of this on 1975's Blood.  The most obvious is of course the coarse [sorry] semi-title track Idiot Wind, but Tangled Up In Blue (the best song on here), You're a Big Girl Now, and If You See Her (Say Hello) provide references, and perhaps the anti-epic nine-minute Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts is some kind of symbolistic reference.  The double-edged, witty lyrics are one of the real treats here, but the layers and layers of guitars on songs like You're a Big Girl Now and Tangled Up In Blue give them the melancholy, bitterswwet, beautiful sound he was aiming for.  And then you have the fun songs, the aforementioned Lily and Idiot Wind, with his best lyrics since at least the 1965-1966 era (Highway and Blonde), the former being reminiscient of the delicious Desolation Row.  I like to think it happens on that legenday street.  So does Stuck inside of Memphis, Tombstone Blues, and all the rest of his amazingly surreal story songs.  This is one of my favorite albums ever... I almost put it at first.  But at least now we know what comes next... -Ian, 5.5/5 (lol) Really 5/5

#3 Best Bob Dylan Albums- Blonde on Blonde

I was thinking of putting it second, but no.  No.  You should know what is going to be second, because you should have known what was going to be first.  It's obvious now...

Blonde on Blonde is perhaps the most eclectic album that he ever made.  Strange, cynical, surreal lyrics merge with the most varied music he ever put on one album.  There's rock'n'roll (Obviously Five Believers, Leopardskin Pillbox Hat), folk (Visions of Johanna), and even parodies (Fourth Time Around).  Everything else is somewhere in between.

Many of the songs are too small to be considered alone.  Like most great double-albums, it is best digested whole.  The best are hard to point out, obviously Stuck... Blues and Just Like a Woman  and I Want You and Fourth Time Around are instant classics, but there are plenty of forgotten gems among the interesting sounds of these two records/CD's/whatever your fancy's.  My favorites are One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later), Most Likely You Go Your Way, Absolutely Sweet Marie, and Obviously Five Believers, and while all of the songs are excellent, they continue to grow on you until you can't stand it anymore, and you listen to it several times in a row.  ... That's what happened to me.  Every once in a while I'll just listen to the entire thing like 5 times in a row. -Ian, 5/5

#4 Best Bob Dylan Albums- The Freewheelin'

Some may question my decisioni to put this ant #4 and not #2.  But you and I both know which three albums are next.  

Dylan's best album from his folk period, it contains classics such as Blowin' in the Wind, Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall, and Masters of War, as well as the original Girl from the North Country.  There are several Dylan-ised covers here, and they are good, but the sheer weight, influence, and skill of the folk originals make this possibly the best album of 1963, or perhaps the best folk album ever. -Ian, 5/5

#5 Best Bob Dylan Albums- Nashville Skyline

1969's Nashville Skyline was Bob Dylan's only real country album.  He went through many phases in his career, and this is one of the calmest, a laid-back style with vocals like we have never heard from him before.  He is one part himself, one part Willie Nelson, and one part Frank Sinatra vocally.

Musically, he abandons rock almost completely and focuses on milky country-folk-rock-whatever-hybrid which is much more country than any folk he ever had or will try.  He even goes so far as to duet with the then-aging now-dead Johnny Cash on the interesting "Girl from the North Country."

The best song here is the finale, "Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You," although "Lay Lady Lay" is amost just as good.  Each track is enjoyable, especially for country fans and fans of his folk era.  This isn't normal Dylan, and it's definitely not my favorite genre, but this is an excellent and rewarding listen. 

This one was the hardest to place... My first instinct was Basement Tapes, Empire Burlesque, Slow Train Coming, New Morning, Bringing it all Back Home... there's so many I could have chosen beyond the obvious top four.  I actually am starting to think I should have put Bringing here... 5/5 -Ian